Presumably this is a satire of confounding variables?
It is quite irresponsible to come out with news articles like this when it is known that overall alcohol has very negative effects on the health.
or being wealthy enough to live relaxed life of sipping Champagne on your property/yacht.
Are they talking about actual Champagne or just sparkling wine?
Because the picture used in illustration shows a bottle of sparkling wine, not Champagne.
"Wow, mango juice prevents cancer!"
Other studies show that eating bread increases obesity, replacing it with cake is suggested by the researcher. /s